unemployed

Why is it utterly impossible for me to find a job? I hate, with a capitol 'h', unemployment. Chances are I'm going to be stuck lifeguarding at the south orange pool for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. And that might just make me cry. Because that would suck royally. Apparently they now pay nearly 50% more than they did last summer, so that's hot. But still, i'm wallowing in poverty. Any feasable ideas/suggestions? Anyone?